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What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

08.06.2025 01:28

What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

True - how I loved my mum!

Why are US customs agents so talkative? I cringed hard when a US customs agent asked me if I was on vacation. He doesn’t need to know why I went to another country as long as I am a U.S. citizen.

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Are vampires real?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

What! how could you do that?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Can it be true that people know your name, not your story, they’ve heard what you’ve done, but not what you’ve been through, so take their opinions of you with a grain of salt?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Do you know what she said mum?

Why am I always so tired, no matter how much I sleep?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

What is the naughtiest fantasy that you've lived out?

What do you mean son?